This pisses me off. Yes let’s break up with your girlfriend because she isn’t Kate Hudson. Have fun dating your right hand. 😒😒😒
Let’s get REAL
1. Not Sexually Compatible: Totally worth a break up, but no problem here. I love flipping her over face down and shoving her face into a pillow as I thrust into her really hard, and sometimes to make it extra special I reach under her down between her legs and rub her clot as I thrust. It’s fun for both of us. TMI? Fuck you.
2. Public Pajamas?: Hey, if you’re cool with your girl going out in her PJs than all the power to you! Personally I don’t mind. Especially if she looks bomb in those PINK brand booty shorts.
3. Sports Talk: “She tries to talk about sports and fails…” Okay, I admit I didn’t look through this article before writing this, rather AS writing this, I’m starting to think this is a troll article. Man, if your girl is trying to learn about this THING that you are noticeably so interested in, that is a reason to KEEP HER, not to dump her. She it might be annoying trying to explain every penalty and down of a football game, but at least she wants to learn. I doubt you even try to share an interest with her.
4. Selfie Obsessed: God, I don’t know a girl who doesn’t want to take 15,000 selfies each day. That’s also annoying, but who isn’t dating a girl that’s annoying them at least 60% of the day? It’s a forgivable offense.
5. Dinners Served: “If she can’t cook—.” let me just stop you right there. IF YOU CANT COOK FOR YOURSELF, than you shouldn’t even be trying to function in society. You’re a waste of space. Cooking is not a gender-exclusive skill. EVERYONE should know how to fucking cook, you jackass.
6. Her friends suck: You know what, this dude is completely right. Just dump your girlfriend. You’ll be better off. HELL FUCKIGN NO MOETHER FUCKSRE! ARE FUCKIGBN DATING DHER FOR HER FUCKIGN FRIENDS NO YOURES DATING HER FOR HER Y(OUL FUSJKMCING DUMABSDS!!!!!
-INTERMISSION- because I’m pissed the FUCK OFF!
7. Pop That Back: “If she attempts to twerk.” Okay, I’m really glad I took that break… and glad I decided, after much contemplation, not to quit writing, because this one is GOLD. Dude if she can twerk, let her because that shits pretty sexy, but if she looks like Miley Cyrus, just have a sit down with her and I’m sure you can come to a compromise where she only does it in complete privacy or not at all. I’m sure you do stupid shit she doesn’t fucking like.
8. Broke Bitch: “She never pays for anything.” Yes, relationships should be fifty-fifty, give and take. All the way. If she’s broke due to joblessness, it’s probably not a reason to dump her; but if she has a job and tons of expenses like school and living, that’s DEFINITELY not a reason to dump her! Dude she’s going places. She might not have money now, but she is a catch. Don’t be a shallow little prick. If she has a job and no expenses and somehow can never help to pay for anything, that probably is a reason to dump her. You get the benefit of the doubt on that one. You shouldn’t be the “broke bitch” either, keep that in mind.
9. Dont. Touch. The. Xbox.: “Shuts off the Xbox before you had a chance to save.” My girlfriend never does this, and I’m not going to say “because she knows better” because I’m not an asshole. She’s not my property. She bought the goddam Xbox for me for God’s sake. She uses it as much as me. It’s our main source of entertainment without cable. We use it for all the apps and games. Girls don’t do this, and if they do it’s usually for a good goddam reason.
10. Dump her if she doesn’t compare to Kate Upton: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Only Kate Upton’s boyfriend is lucky enough to have the most attractive woman on the planet. This rest of us will never have her. If you don’t compare to David Beckham, Ryan Gosling, Ryan Reynolds, Bradley Cooper, Jake Gyllenhaal, Robert Pattinson, Tom Hardy, Johnny Depp, Hugh Jackman, or Zac Efron than you shouldn’t say a fucking word. Sure, strive for the best, but strive in all ways. Not just for the physical attractiveness of your woman.
If she makes you happy, what more could you possibly ask for?